Rock-a-bye Eagles, on the tree top

2–3 minutes

Why nap time is an absolute must at American

Staff Writer

In recent years, students have grown more and more exhausted. “I can’t even remember the last time I slept a full night,” said Line A. Hammock (09), “All my friends think it’s so cool that I never get any sleep!”

This is primarily due to a lack of sleep from the heavy course loads students place upon themselves due to outside pressures. The most obvious solution to this dilemma of physical prostration is district mandated nap times for students of all levels of the schooling system.

The average amount of sleep a high school student gets has reduced drastically over time. The National Institute of Sleeping, Siestas, And Naps (N.I.S.S.A.N) has conducted studies showing that the sleep of an average high schooler has reduced by nearly 200 percent, essentially leading to brain hyperactivity.

This brain hyperactivity can be seen in students taking AP classes. “OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO FAIL, I’M GOING TO FAIL, I NEED TO KEEP STUDYING, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,” said Iluv Lang (11), moments before walking into the APLang exam.

Large amounts of homework could also affect students. “I had a vocab test last week,” said Dewing Nuthin (12), “aside from that, I have maybe one homework assignment a month.” Such intense workloads could require them to work at home for hours on end, affecting their sleep schedule.

A student, whose identity is being kept anonymous for safety reasons, said, “I honestly think, it’s the deep state, running the school from behind the scenes, stealing everyone’s sleep and using it to feed the hive mind.” This is also seen to be a leading factor in student sleep insufficiency.

The solution, you may ask? Mr. Wantogohome, who has taught at AHS for over 20 years, explains, “We could easily replace FLEX with siestas, that would be helpful for myse… I mean the students, yeah, definitely the students.” This period would allow students to catch up on the deficit to their circadian rhythm.

Alternatively, school culture could shift away from pressuring students into taking classes harder than Marine Corps boot camp, or assigning workloads that explain why senioritis exists— allowing us students to rest peacefully on our tree tops.