Sinchan Mishra & Sahana Narayan


     It’s the time we have all been waiting for. Nights are spent sleepless, tossing and turning with a sense of impending doom. The streets are empty; a feeling of anxiety fills the air. At school, students are unable to focus, their minds haunted by uneasy thoughts about the imminent event.

     It’s time for FUSD school board elections. 

     Although everyone is already well-informed about the importance of this groundbreaking election, our loyal readers are probably wondering who their beloved newspaper is endorsing this campaign season. 

     It was not an easy task. With an election of this gravity, the decision has never been more monumental. But looking at the issues present in current society, our attention has landed on a woman who is determined to focus on the important things. 

     Jennifer Kavouniaris. 

     A trailblazer in politics, she’s not afraid to voice ideas that have never been heard before on the cesspools of conservative Twitter or Reddit. Her plans and goals are built on a strong, robust foundation of cold, hard facts and science. She is a woman of and for the people—all people (except trans people, people of color, and teachers who want a livable wage). 

     What are these ambitious plans and goals? 

     One of Kevinaries’ signature priorities is conserving the Student Resource Officer (SRO) program in our schools. (Unrelatedly, she has expressed her support of the police on her illustrious Facebook page through the use of innovative hashtags such as #BackTheBlue and #TheyNeedUsNowMoreThanEver on a post from October.) 

     Jennifer Korvinasaurus’s platform is unique in her fervent desire to “protect, promote, and preserve” our nation’s treasured democratic principles. In this effort of hers, she has vehemently opposed the FUSD school board’s pledge to one of the most “radical,” extremist organizations in the world: Black Lives Matter. Because what could be more blasphemous than the fight for equity for Black people? By denouncing the demands of this pledge which includes a call to “expel Republican members of Congress who attempted to overturn the election and incited a white supremacist attack,” Jennifer Kalamari has proven to us at the Eagle Era that she is fighting the good fight—one for fairness, democracy, and good old-fashioned American justice. 

     Secondly, but no less importantly, Jennifer Kavouniar prioritizes those who matter: the children. She wants to “bring back Advanced Placement classes in our high schools,” whose student bodies have been suffering from a lack of them. According to Administrator Began Marrington, “We NEED AP classes back in our high schools. Our current students just aren’t prepared for college as it is. They need to challenge themselves further.” 

     The last time that any FUSD high school offered a single AP or even honors class was over a century ago, at Washington High School (the oldest of FUSD’s educational institutions).

      But Kalvinharris’ support for the educational system also extends to its irreplaceable pillars: the teachers. She’s “ready to serve the educators” which is so obviously illuminated by her ardent opposition to teacher unions. Nowhere is this sentiment better exemplified than in a silver-tongued condemnation she delivered through a Facebook comment, which reads, “The teachers unions have been hijacked by the people who want to destroy America.” 

     Teachers are endlessly grateful to Kavanaugh. According to Mr. Teacherson, a highly-regarded Sports Medicine teacher at an unnamed school somewhere in the Western Hemisphere, “Unions are very unhelpful to teachers. They really only focus on issues such as fair pay, adequate health benefits, and job security. Where is the concern and attention for the real problems, such as Sports Medicine funding?” 

      While Kaviar knows where attention is necessary, she also has an insightful understanding of what is unnecessary—chief among the list being gender and sexuality education. Asking a question no one has ever asked before regarding LGBTQ+ topics in education, she boldly spoke out in yet another Facebook comment: “Can we please stick to subjects like reading and writing, math and science?” (Unrelatedly, she has given space to multiple naysayers in her comment section who argue that sexuality is based on feelings rather than biology.) 

     Kavalier’s boldness does not stop there; even though the state’s education code requires instruction in high schools on basic sex education, she is unafraid to deviate from the norm, making a proclamation through her trusted vehicle of expression: Facebook comments. She says, “I will teach my child about sex and all that goes with it, WHEN I SEE FIT. That is MY decision. Not yours, the school or the government- MINE!”

     In a school district suffering from so many problems—inclusivity of minorities, a lack of AP classes, teachers’ unions, open discussions about the LGBTQ+ community and sex ed—Jennifer Karnivorous is the savior we all need. (Obviously, there is no need to research about the opposition, Dianne Jones, whose track record as incumbent has merely increased the core curriculum’s diversity, supported teachers’ unions, and revised sex education to become more inclusive and accurate.) 

     The choice is clear. There is only one candidate who is willing to boldly voice the unspoken thoughts in the back of all of our heads. Jennifer Kalewivbifbouinarius’s ideas, even if some (such as the state board of education) might make it impossible for them to ever come to fruition, are the exact kind of revolution our district is in dire need of. Support the Eagle Era’s endorsement of the candidate who will make our school district great again. 

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