Nothing says “I love you” like a bouquet of ten roses for forty dollars.
Ah, yes. That wonderful time of the year. One could argue that it’s the best time of the year. That one special day in February. Shelves decked in pink streamers, scattered boxes of chocolates, disturbingly cute cupid figures, and those beautiful red signs with my favorite words: For Sale.
February 15: the perfect day after Valentine’s Day when all those 50-piece candy boxes go on sale for a dollar each. Gotta love capitalism. I mean, who doesn’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on gifts just to prove that you still love your significant other? Everyone knows that if you don’t, you will instantly perish and love will cease to exist and Cupid himself will descend from the heavens to smite you. Yeah, no one needs that obnoxious frilly Hallmark card that sings when you open it, but you have to get something, right?
Anyways, who decided February 14 was the day to declare your undying love to each other and flaunt your relationship in single people’s faces? (No, I am not bitter; that’s just my 99% dark chocolate that I got for 50 cents.) Who sat down and said, “You know what would be great? Taking a holiday named after a Catholic martyr executed by ancient Romans and making it about romance. Nothing’s more romantic than dying for a cause.” Bet the government loved that last line. And, of course, businesses and society jumped right into it. Another way to sell products and make more money? Yes, please.
Don’t get me wrong. Sure, it’s cute to get each other flowers. Sure, that giant teddy bear is adorable. Honestly, though, this can be done any other day of the year. February 18, March 9, April 25, June 13–literally nothing is stopping you from doing sweet things on those days, other than society conditioning you to feel guilty about not doing something for Valentine’s Day. Why should one specific day determine whether we’re loved or not? Look what you’ve done. I’m preaching about conformity now, well done.
Well, who am I to tell you what to do? By all means, buy that $30 flower bouquet and those sugary $40 “sugar-free” chocolates. Not my fault if you go back and see the same things for a dollar apiece. You might as well do that instead–go shopping with your significant other the day after Valentine’s Day and then binge on all those sweets you bought while watching a cliché rom-com. I’d suggest making this a holiday too, but we all know that businesses will market the heck out of that. You’ll start seeing cards saying “Happy Day-After-Valentine’s-Day Day” and Instagram influencers writing captions like “Be my un-Valentine?” “I need to pay two dollars for this discounted Valentine candy? Can I just give you a shoutout?”
Gotta love capitalism. And they say romance is dead.
Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece on Valentine’s Day. In reality, I’m a hopeless romantic that gushes over soulmate AUs and enemies-to-lovers storylines.