A look into the seasonal disease that can plague up to ¼ of the school population

Sriram Dasarathy, M.D. and Divya Prakash, M.D.

Staff Medical Writers

    EMERGENCY HEALTH ADVISORY: Senioritis is beginning to spread! It can affect large portions of the population and must be guarded against at all costs. Read further to understand the causes, symptoms, effects, and treatments of this fatal disease.

    OVERVIEW: Senioritis is the ebbing motivation felt by high school seniors every year, beginning in mid-second semester. Its symptoms and time of onset can vary, but results are universally devastating. Many students begin to contract it in late February and mid-March, especially upon receiving a college acceptance. Some students, however, have been suffering from it since as early as 8th grade.

    SYMPTOMS: Symptoms include: absolute lack of desire to accomplish any sort of productive work, lack of attendance in classes, simultaneous feelings of utter sluggishness and uncontrollably ecstatic freedom, curious gaps in memory even for simple tasks, and a constant sense of anticipation and boredom.

    CAUSES: Researchers believe that these symptoms stem from students’ mistaken belief that their work ethic no longer matters for college and job applications. In addition, scientists theorize that after 3.5 years in high school, students might be suffering from a deep sense of restlessness and excitement that manifests, unfortunately, as senioritis.

    EFFECTS: The effects are varied, but uniformly severe. Some students might find themselves unable to get up, exercise, or eat and sleep in a timely fashion. This can lead to a deterioration of their physical and mental health. They will feel sluggish and therefore underperform in the classes that they do deign to show up to. Other students might rack up so many absences that they run into disciplinary issues at school. They might face extreme parental anger; just because colleges do not see those grades yet does not mean your parents don’t. Others might see their work ethic drop so far that they are unable to regain it in time for college. And of course, the most dreaded effect of all: some students, in the mst extreme cases, might find their hard-won college acceptances rescinded for poor grades.

    PREVENTION AND CURE: As you can see, this disease has the potential to truly ravage the body and mind. Fail-safe preventions are as of yet unknown; however, studies have found that students who enjoy learning for its own sake, rather than for college admissions or parental approval, are far less likely to contract Senioritis. As for cure, mental fortitude goes a long way. Work hard, have a lot of fun, make memories with your friends, and keep fighting the good fight. If none of that works, however, a letter from Harvard withdrawing your acceptance can also go a long way in quickly curing senioritis.

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