Eagle Era

A very high-effort protest against writing another article

By Sachi Ladole

This article was originally intended to have a lot of things: a witty hook, a series of balanced arguments, and a conclusion that ties everything together with a neat little bow. However, after 45 minutes of staring at the harsh glow of a Google Doc that has stubbornly remained empty, the realization has set in that the most honest piece of journalism possible is a formal protest against writing itself. 

Every adjective feels like a chore, and every “clever” pun feels like a cry for help. It’s a feeling known by almost every student at AHS, especially now that the weather is warming up and the countdown to summer has started to take more importance over homework. Walk into the library during this time of year, and the same expression is mirrored on every face, what some refer to as the “essay-induced trance.”

“To be completely honest, I’ve reached a point where I can’t even write a grocery list without looking for 3 unique sources,” said Staff Writer Displeased Darl (11). The creative well hasn’t just run dry; it’s been bulldozed over again and again. 

The keyboard feels harder to press each day, as if every key is Mount Everest your fingers need to climb over. It’s gotten so bad that even Google has given up on autocorrection; the little squiggly lines of red and blue are a friend of the past. If words were currency, we’d all be bankrupt, trading our yawns for commas and sighs for semicolons. Sluggish Sally (10) agreed, adding, “If I have to write one more word I might ‘accidentally’ turn my laptop into a frisbee.”

And it’s not just the Eagle Era—look in any English classroom and you’ll find similar examples. This is a generation raised on word counts and thesis statements—who spend their lives “finding our voice” only to have it restricted to specific fonts and one-inch margins. Between 1,500-word history papers and college prompts asking us to summarize the human soul in 250 words, it is safe to surmise that the average student brain has officially hit “Capacity FULL.”

The editorial instruction is always to “dig deeper” and “look for unique sources.” But what are the staff writers meant to do when the results of that excavation are a few old gum wrappers and a profound need for a nap? With the end of the year in sight, the internal monologue of the student body has shifted from academic analysis to a repetition of “Is it June yet?”

In the interest of our sanity, the white flag is being raised. The rest of this space is dedicated to sending a very powerful message: a plea for peace and a protest against writing. We have… nothing left to say—and more importantly, a word count that this article still needs to be hit. 

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