Quirky gift ideas that will have your friends wondering how they ever lived without them!
Staff Writer
The holiday season is back, and with great Christmas spirit comes the obligatory need to get friends gifts that they didn’t want or need. This year, how about you get them gifts that they didn’t know they needed. With these gifts, make yourself the expert in any gift giving event this holiday season.
Number one, freeze dried ice. The holiday season means the mass consumption of hot drinks like cocoa, and the risk of scalded tongues and burnt lips run as high as ever. Consider buying freeze dried ice for your favorite yapper to protect their talking talent and spare them a scalded tongue. Freeze dried ice uses cutting-edge technology in which water is dried, then frozen into cubes. With a 0.0% moisture content, not only is freeze dried ice portable and lightweight, but easy to use. Simply drop a few cubes into any drink, add some water and watch the cooling commence!
#2 is the number zero pencil. You’ve heard of the #2 pencils, the gold standard of writing tools. Perfect for the friend who insists on borrowing your eraser every five minutes, it’s ideal for those who want to write without the pressure of messing up. Tailor-made for note-taking when dealing with the indecisive. No smudges, no mistakes and absolutely no visible marks. Satisfied customer, Messi Riting (11), claims, “Ever since I got a #0 pencil, my writing has never been clearer.”
Flying in number 3 is the McDonnell Douglas F-15 Eagle fighter jet. Looking to outdo everyone around you this year? Forget those useless gift cards or ugly sweaters, try giving the gift of air superiority this year! Boasting an impressive one thousand six hundred and fifty miles per hour, this gift ensures your friend that lives a quarter mile away from AHS might show up on time for once. Sure, it’s a bit of an investment, but can you really put a price on aerial dominance? Warning: Some assembly required, and you might want to alert the neighbors.
Ever wish that words weren’t as hard as they are? With item number four, the Vocabulator, any and all diction-dictated distress can be directly dispelled! It’s like a calculator, but for words. With a complex database spanning thousands of words, almost any words that are entered will return an in-depth definition. According to Diction Aerie (10), “Every week, my friends would complain about having a weekly vocabulary quiz. You would think that after a few weeks, they would start studying. After getting them a Vocabulator, they still haven’t stopped complaining, but at least they’ve started to study.” If expanding vocabulary sounds a bit too studious, our next item takes a much more calming approach to academic life.
When everyone’s locked in with a test that could mean making or breaking their GPA, nothing’s louder than a water bottle falling onto the floor. If you know someone who can’t seem to walk straight even if their life depended on it, try getting them a water bottle airbag to spare them the shame of causing an unscheduled drum solo during class. Perfect for those who can’t be trusted to keep their bottles upright.
If you feel like none of these gifts solve your present-delivering dilemma, consider just giving up. Maybe what’s needed isn’t a perfect gift, but a different view on the holiday season entirely. The attitude where Christmas is a time to impress people with flashy presents and elaborate purchases adds unnecessary pressure on a stressful time of the year. Knowing that someone cared enough to get something for you should be a great gift in itself.
Eagle Era 
Leave a comment