Gym is Life

2–3 minutes

An attempt to solve the detrimental effects of toxic gym culture

Malaya Cruz

Staff Writer

“Bro, protein is life. I add it to everything, you should have seen my Thanksgiving dinner—I had protein-infused apple cider,” says Buffy Strongman (9).

Protein bars, protein shakes, protein pancakes, it’s a revival of the millennial avocado-bacon obsession. We all encounter them: they are flexing in the school hallways, sweating in the weight room, and even living under our own roofs. The middle aged woman’s dream (but the average teenager’s worst nightmare) is a gym bro. It’s that one guy in your class who won’t stop talking about their PR (personal record), who begs on their knees to coerce you into the gym lifestyle. However, perhaps the problem is not these big buff men, but the negative stigma they are subject to. It’s the idea that they are not “kenough,” that they don’t fit patriarchal expectations thanks to our narrow-minded society.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not the average Joe going to the gym, this is the person who makes working out their entire personality. We all know that maintaining great shape is excellent for mental and physical health, but there comes a point where gym culture becomes toxic and detrimental to the gym bro themself. Their Instagram reels and TikToks are flooded with false fitness gurus that promote harmful eating habits or strenuous exercises. Their self-perceptions are distorted and it becomes their only goal in life to have the physical stature of the Rock.

According to the National Institute for Chicken Rights Director, Kokk O’Dödledö, “gym-bros account for 75% daily chicken murders and 50% of the national protein powder shortage.”

To end these injustices, I propose that all mirrors in the world should be banned and replaced with silly mirrors (yes, the ones from carnivals). Teens will no longer have an obsession with their looks, and beauty standards will be a thing of the past! If everyone’s self perception is skewed, there will be no one set definition of societal perfection.

One student, Pushups McGee (10), who replaced all the mirrors in her home for an entire week, says, “I don’t even know who I am anymore, and it’s great! No really, what do I look like?”

The results from adolescents are spectacular! Students will still be able to practice healthy eating habits and fitness routines without the constant need to compare themselves to their peers, since they do not even know what they look like themselves.

Of course there are several other practical solutions to negative gym culture such as, making healthy food accessible to all socioeconomic classes, regulating harmful so-called fitness “experts” on social media, or simply allowing representation of average-looking people in the mainstream media, but none of these will have the successful effects of the silly fun mirror solution.

“At the end of the day it shouldn’t matter how your peers perceive you. I mean, I’m famous and you can’t even see me,” John Cena.

Caption: Will a barrel of whey a day really fulfill your happiness? Or will it brainwash you into an endless fit of flexing and finger-guns. Art Credit: Logan King